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Mean breeds meaner when it comes to reviews.
                           

Critic

                           

CRITIC



      “The new release from Crowthorne Publications - Death by Chocolate - would be a joke, if it were as funny as the author had intended.”

      Delicate fingers with light purple nail polish typed at an old laptop. A gloating smile curled the lips painted in scarlet. Ice blue eyes sparkled with vicious humour.

      “If anyone buys this novel I would expect them to be of below average intelligence as it is at this level the storyline might actually work.”

      She had read only the first chapter and it had not impressed her. She, Elizabeth French, critic to the masses and, of course, the elite, could not allow this germ of a man get away with not impressing her.

      “The jokes are hackneyed cliches of the worst kind and most teenagers would probably use it to stabilise a chair, or desk, with uneven legs. And for that, it is severely over-priced. Some free advice for you Mr Dix, why don’t you try doing some serious writing now?”


      She sat back and re-read what she had written, stretching her arms above her head pulling her T-shirt tight across her generous breasts. Hands reached round and cupped them, warm breath blew on her neck and she giggled. “Stop that! I’m working!” She dropped her hands and placed them over those that gently squeezed her.
      “No you’re not. You’re gloating!” Lips by her ears whispered. “So, stop it now you ego maniac and come to bed.” Perfect teeth lightly nibbled the lobe of her ear.
      “Jennifer!” She tried to sound shocked, but it was such a sham. She twisted round and kissed her girlfriend full on the lips and soon all thoughts of the laptop were forgotten.



      The next morning Oden Dix attended a signing for his new book. By nine a.m. there were six people waiting to enter the bookstore. By nine-oh-five they had all got what they wanted and left. The store manager came over carrying a copy of the paper. “This would explain why there’s so little interest in your book Mr Dix.” He handed the paper over with the literary reviews ready to read.
      Oden took the paper and read Elizabeth French’s commentary. He staggered a little and the store manager helped him to a seat. “What did I ever do to her?” He whispered as his elation at being published crumbled into dust. He stared at the review for a long time. Even as the staff cleared the signing area around him, he just stared. The shop manager eventually had to ask him to leave.



      Twelve months later Elizabeth had her own office and a secretary. She performed her reviews in a comfortable, high-backed chair. She dyed her hair a light golden blonde because it went better with her eyes. She had it all at her fingertips. She got to the office at 09:15, which allowed sufficient time for Janet, her secretary, to open up the office, set all the climate controls, read the mail and emails and get the day started. “Morning Janet.” Elizabeth breezed past and went straight into her luxurious office.
      “Morning Miss French…” Janet began as she followed her into the office, arms laden with various documents.
      “How many times Janet? Hmm? It’s Ms French, Ok?” Elizabeth snapped testily as she leaned back in her chair with her eyes closed.
      “Sorry… G’morning Ms French.” She put the newspapers on the desk in front of Elizabeth, and put the mail by her left hand. “Here’s the urgent stuff, the rest I’ll keep till later.”
      “Coffee.”
      “Right away Ms French.” Janet nodded and hurried out, grabbing her coat on the way past as she went to get Elizabeth’s first coffee of the day.



      A knock on the doorframe distracted Elizabeth from her read of the paper. She saw a short, bald man wearing a tweed jacket, a chequered shirt and light brown pants. “What the fuck?” She murmured but loud enough to be heard by her unexpected visitor. “Janet!” She yelled.
      No response.
      “Who are you, and what do you want?” She ground the words out wearily. As she made to rise, he stepped towards the desk.
      “If you are calling your secretary, I believe she has gone out. She said something about an urgent dental appointment.” He explained apologetically.
      “Damn! She’s always doing that!” She huffed, fumed and sank back into her chair, a scowl bursting onto her face as she spoke, her eyes roving over her desk as if searching for something.
      “Uhm… she did ask me to give…” He began.
      “I suppose I’ll have to go and get my own coffee now!” She’s lost in her own world, more worried about the coffee than her assistant.
      “…you this.” He placed a large cardboard cup with a plastic cap on her desk. He then placed three sugar sachets and a stirrer alongside it.
      “Oh, thank god!” She snatched the lid off, tore open the sachets and emptied the contents into the coffee. The stirrer whisked round several times before she even gave him a second thought. “And, I suppose thank you Mr…”
      He went to answer, but she slipped back to normal swiftly enough.
      “…whatever your name is. If you want to talk, call back when Janet’s here and make an appointment. Good day.” She slurped twice, put the cup down and resumed reading the newspaper.
      “I wanted to talk to you about a review you did a year ago.” He fidgeted with the flaps over his jacket pockets.
      “Really?” She looked up at his round face. He had one of those faces that seemed to be ready to smile in an instant, so ready that you might have thought that he was already smiling. “What was the book called?”
      “Death by Chocolate.” He sighed the title. “It was a comic-horror novel for young adults…”
      “Oh yes, I remember. Terrible little book, so drab and predictable… was that you?” A look of dawning realisation crept to her face only to be replaced with repugnance and contempt. “It was, wasn’t it?” Her tone sneered even more than the curl of her lip. “It was so you!” She declared viciously shaking her head. “How old are you? 55…60? Look at you, balding, old, fat and boring.” She snorted and picked up the paper. “I said all that I wanted to say at the time, so there’s no point in trying to discuss it further, Mr Dix.” She placed a heavy emphasis on his name.
      “No, I suppose not.” He said and walked out.
      Elizabeth took two more mouthfuls of her coffee, put the cup down then fell flat on her face on the desk.
      Oden stepped back Elizabeth’s office. “I’m ready to do some serious writing now – Ms French.”



      Elizabeth became aware of the world again as bright light forced its way into her consciousness. The bright light surrounded her, though everywhere else was dark. She felt a little sleepy, but otherwise she actually felt quite good.

      “Ahhhh, goooood! You’re awake Ms French.” A white circle appeared in the darkness in front of her. It was a face, eyes invisible in the shadows under the brows. It seemed to be smiling. The head moved as if the person was peering into one of her eyes then the other. “I do hope that you’re Ok.” His forehead furrowed and his eyebrows rose in concern. “You passed out at your desk. Do you remember that?”

      She became serious for a moment as she tried to remember.

      “It’s fine if you don’t remember at the moment. Don’t worry your memory will come back very soon.” He placed his hand tenderly against her cheek. “I wonder if I might call you Elizabeth, we have been introduced already.” The apparent smile became reality as the lips separated showing only a segment of blackness in place of teeth. “No. I shall call you Lizzie as I feel that I already know you well enough to be that presumptive.”

      She recognised the face as the fog in her mind finally cleared. It was the man from her office. She smiled. He had such a happy face.

      “I thought you might like to know what I’ve been doing since you wrote your masterpiece about my book.” He murmured sweetly. “Would you like that?”

      Her smile seemed to grow. He was such a nice man.

      “I sold my house after my wife left me and I began to prepare for the time when you and I would meet.” He looked a little embarrassed, shy perhaps, she couldn’t really tell. He walked her over to one side of the room and showed her a high bed. "I bought this for you.” Then he took her past the bed to a counter. "I bought all of these for you too.”

      She looked at all the shiny things that were laid out on the side. Each gleamed and glistened beautifully.

      He walked her back across the room. “You’re feeling happy and a little numb right now, aren’t you Lizzie?”

      She smiled again, but not as brilliantly as before.

      “Oh my.” He chuckled. “It’s starting to wear off already.”

      His face began to focus and sharpen. Features separated.

      “Wait a moment.” He went away and she could hear him moving something. He was dragging it, bringing it nearer.

      Her breathing became laboured and sweat beaded on her forehead. A pale white hand emerged from the darkness close to his face and a finger extended to touch a single droplet.

      “It’s not the heat in here, is it?” The brows were raised in question making the darkness of the eyes larger. “I have set the temperature to a very moderate 24 degrees celcius which is comfortable enough for anyone who is in your condition.” The face withdrew into the darkness, sniggering laughter echoing in the shadows.

      Her eyes wandered, searching for the answer to his cryptic comment. Then she heard a huffing, blowing sound and she felt a chill across her belly, which then moved up over her chest to her neck. She shivered. The happy feeling was fading.

      Chill, or fear, it did not matter.
      She was a prisoner.
      She had been muted.
      She had been immobilised.
      She felt numb.
      She was naked.

      She could not see him, but she could hear him moving around in the darkness. She could hear him breathing, mouth closed, air rushing into and out of flared nostrils.

      “I have taken your advice Lizzie!” His voice called from further away. “I have done some serious writing!”

      She listened intently, trying to place him. A whisper next to her ear made her skin crawl.

      “A horror story. One that I know you will like.”

      Silence returned.

      The luminous face reappeared. “How could you not like it?” An expression of innocence showed for a moment. The head tilted forward, the eyes looked at her from close to the brows, and a broad, evil smile curled the lips. “You are the star of the show.”

      Fear bit deep.

      “I already have a publisher lined up. What about that?” The face withdrew into the shadows. “The book will be released next week, aren’t you excited?” A jovial tone that quickly changed to apology. “All proceeds to go to Janet’s family - she was the unfortunate victim in all this.”

      A long silence followed.

      Ears pricked, desperate for an indication of his presence.

      “Oh yes! The story, I almost forgot.” His voice erupted into the quiet. “It’s called Critic and it’s about what you did to me, and now includes what I have done to you.” He chuckled. “It was so inspirational having you help with the storyline. I couldn’t have written it without you.”

      He moved about in the darkness and began doing things she couldn’t see. Then he raised a projection screen in front of her and she became confused.

      “We already know what you did to me, and I am about to show you what I have done to you. But first I want to tell you how the story ends. Throughout the process of creating this story, I have left clues for the police. Admittedly some of them have been a little cryptic so they may not get them for a while. You know, a month or two, but don’t worry I have set up certain safeguards to ensure that you are found.”

      Panting, drooling, wanting to scream and shout, but making no sound. Confused, frightened and trembling. At least she thought she was trembling. She couldn’t be sure.
      Something stabbed her arm and the happy feeling came back.

      “That’s a drip I’ve just put in your arm, my dear. It should last about an hour. After that your memory and your feelings will return to normal.” He made the sound of sharp intake of breath. “I’m glad I won’t be here when that happens.”

      She tried to fight the giddiness, fought to keep the smile from her face, but the anaesthetic was too strong.

      “That’s a good girl, now listen Lizzie, please!” He gently admonished her before continuing. “The part which will happen in just a moment is when I run the recording of every last little thing I did to you, knowing that you can’t run, or even look away as it loops over and over again.”

      There was a sound like a key being pressed on a keyboard and images began to appear on the screen. They were a little blurred until he adjusted the focus.

      “Pay attention now. Here is where I have my revenge Elizabeth. I hope you enjoy it as much I will.” Oden on the screen smiled and winked into the camera.

      She saw a woman, naked and bound, lying on what looked like an operating table. A man wearing surgical clothing appeared and stood over the woman.

      It was Oden.

      He held up a pair of scissors and began to cut the woman’s light blonde hair off close to the scalp. The camera zoomed in and she recognised the woman. The seed of a scream was planted in her stomach.

      Oden bent down and winked at the camera. The he took up a scalpel and carefully trimmed her eyelids so that the eyes could not be closed.

      Tears welled up in her eyes, but she could not blink them away.

      Next he moved to stand in front of the camera with his back to it. His movements indicating that the scalpel was being skilfully wielded again. When he stepped clear of the camera the nose had been cut back to the bone.

      Next the mouth was forced open.Forceps gripped the tongue and extended it out of the mouth. A swift stroke of the scalpel and blood gushed everywhere. A hot iron was pressed against the torn remnant, steam hissing as blood vaporised. Oden proudly showed the tongue to the camera.

      She wanted to turn away, wanted to close her eyes, wanted the images to go away, to not be true. Her eyes told the truth behind the chemically induced smile.

      Now he moved down to her chest. He pinched a nipple, lifting it high before he casually sliced it off. Again it was shown to the camera.

      Her breathing was coming in great sobs now. Tears overflowed.

      The same happened with the other nipple.

      “Enjoy the show Lizzie” Oden whispered close to her ear.

      She started as a shotgun boomed behind her.

      The smiling eyes above the mask hardly blinked as Oden continued his impromptu surgery. The breasts were removed and set aside, the nipples being set back in place.

      Wretched and miserable she could not look away. Second after tortuous second the surgery continued until she knew exactly what was left…

      She wished she hadn’t been so cruel.

      The video looped.

      “Pay attention now. Here is where I have my revenge Elizabeth. I hope you enjoy it as much I will.” Oden smiled and winked into the camera.

      She wished she’d chosen another career.

      The video looped.

      She wished she could say goodbye to Jennifer.

      The video looped.

      She wished the police would come.

      The video looped.

      She wished there was more anaesthetic in the drip.

      The video looped.

      She wished for death…

      The video looped.

      The screaming began.



                           

Critic

                           




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